Archive for ‘Novice Life Coach’

May 31, 2014

5 Real Talk Steps To Clean Out Your Closet

anxiety attack prevention

My name is Bekka, and I get anxiety attacks when I have to clean out my closet and donate the clothes. I’m not a hoarder. I just have an intense love of nostalgia, a wicked good memory, and a very creative sense of style. The rule, “if you haven’t worn a piece of clothing in a year, then donate it” has never applied to me. There are three hundred and sixty five days in a year and some days call for a wardrobe change. If my t-shirt has a stain no worries, it can be covered with a cardigan. If my sweater has a hole, well it goes great under my jacket. If it’s too old to be worn in respectable company, keep it to work out in or better yet paint the house! As you can see, getting rid of clothing is not easy for me.

Last year my boyfriend moved into the house I’ve lived in my entire life. In the midst of my twenties, I had yet to do a massive purge and now I had to fit another person’s belongings into my life history. Even more, I had to now share my closet!

Queue the anxiety and irrational panic, but in the meantime, I had to make room for my guy. If you have a hard time getting rid of clothes or items that are attached to memories, things you don’t use and take up more space than what can be easily stored in a shoebox, then I bestow my wisdom, gained from 5 big black bags of donated clothes, purses, and shoes, to help you through a purge- in 5 easy steps!

1) Put your donated clothes in a big black trash bag, and don’t open it! Whatever you do, avoid the second look. Trust that whatever is in there, you decided to put in there for a very valid reason. Like a bad relationship, don’t revisit the good memories and know it’s time to let go.

2) If there is a hole, stain on the clothing, or it does not fit that well: get rid of it. Remove the clothing item from your closet, even if a sweater can hide the stain or the hole isn’t even that noticeable. If you’re in the position where room must be made then hard decisions will need to take place. There were some pieces that I had worn through the best of times, great shows and fun nights out, but in the end it was good to have adeal breaker in place.

3) Hold on to the memory in a picture.  I took a lot of pictures of purses, team sweatshirts, dresses, etc. The pictures were a way of me being able to hold on to the item, without it physically taking up space. Admittedly, I haven’t looked at those pictures and probably never will, but at the time it was my way of holding onto a little piece of that possession, so I could remove it from my life, because I refuse to let my possessions possess me.

donate to salvation army

4) Make up a story about the new owner. Yup, this might sound nutty but it worked! I had a green purse with a leather butterfly on it that I had never really used. I thought it was really cute, but it wasn’t my style. Yet it could be my style one day… see where the crazy talk starts kicking in? So, I had to beat crazy with crazy and I imagined a free spirited, thirteen year-old girl who purchased my cool purse.  She’s super excited to bring it to school Monday then, she gets compliments from all her friends. This imaginary girl was going to have way more fun with this bag, than I ever would… into the black donate bag it went!

5) Tailor your style. Just because it fits, it doesn’t mean it’s you. Pick a style icon and ask yourself, “Would Audrey Hepburn wear this? Could I zip around on a moped in 1960’s France like Francoise Hardy in this outfit?” A perk of getting older is knowing yourself better.  Don’t just keep clothes because you have them, but keep them because they still reflect who you are today. I used to be angry, jaded, and had lots of punk style clothing; but that’s not who I am anymore. I said goodbye to my pink plaid pants and made room for cute ankle cut slim fit trousers.

francois hardy iconic style


classic audrey hepburn street style

Now these rules didn’t take away my sinking feeling or accelerated heart rate when removing these bags from my car and into the donation box. I was still uncomfortable and irritable, not a happy camper but, I also know it was all for the best.  I took a few deep breaths and let my rational brain talk to the emotional and irrational part, because I know how silly and superficial all that anxiety is.

Good luck on your purge and I hope my tips help you the next time you’re moving or have to make room for someone else. Until then, enjoy that t-shirt with the pit stains no one can see under your adorable cardigan. If you like it, then VIVA!

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September 29, 2013

A Grateful Fall – September

“Gratitude, it changes your attitude” – me ( & probably someone else too)

As other post have hinted too, I’ve been working on staying positive and motivated to be more productive. Happiness is not easy, its work. How quickly we can get caught up in the trap of comparing ourselves to others, and judging our own lives and accomplishments against their paths and choices in life  I began playing Soul Pancake videos at work as they are a source of positivity streaming into my head; inspiring stories, funny jokes, interesting social dynamics. All those videos were really helping to change my jaded perspective, but it wasn’t until I started watching the “Last Day” playlist did I get a big helping of reality.

WOW! I have so much to be thankful for. Why do I complain? Why do I judge? Why am I getting so negative? It was time to refocus. “They” say to start the day off with something you are thankful for everyday is the way to happiness, and I agree. But how often do we really stop and go, wow I’m really thankful for this big thing or really simple thing in my life.

I will never take in-door plumbing for granted again after my two stints at Coachella, but what about all the other beautiful luxuries in my life? Like a warm comfortable bed, and a really healthy niece and nephew.

Here is the video which inspired #AGratefulFall

you can read some of the things I was grateful for in September after the jump.

What are you grateful for today? Leave in a comment!

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July 23, 2013

It’s Time for Super Better


*banner illustrated and photo adjusted by ME!

“In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and ‘snap’, the job’s a game.” – Mary Poppins

I decided to throw away Monday, meaning I forgave myself for being completely unproductive. Feeling bloated, squishy, ugly, and bleh; I came home and washed my face to remove all the metephorical grime from the day. Makeup off and hair treated with oil, secured in a high ponytail with a sparkly teal hair tie; I proceeded to put on a face mask that made me identical to Shrek and RELAXED.

Some days you just can’t salvage, and although Monday wasn’t the worst of them it certainly wasn’t the best. I have a huge project I need to get done at work and it has turned me into a procrastinating sixteen year old who is avoiding getting their research done, which is essentially 95% of this project. With yesterday gone and a new day and new possibilities upon me, I’ve decided it’s time for SUPER BETTER.

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June 14, 2013

Pure Peachy-Keen Happiness

Sometimes I don’t like my life either, I’ve cried and said  “I don’t know how to be happy” in the arms of Bowerbird –the person that brings me the most joy. And thankfully he understands things are more complicated than just having a few right elements and everything is peachy-keen…you have to work on it…and not run away from it. And not find false happiness in substances, true happiness comes from a pure state. And thats the last I’m going to say about that…

(an AIM conversation with a friend, my last tid bit of advice)


instagram/ @basicallybekka

May 11, 2012

Going it alone, yet never alone… (not a god post)

Tonight I am seeing a band not very many people know about, *nor really care for as I a few reviews I’ve read in the last hour stated, but I love them. I’m really excited about this show; it was super cheap, and I am just ready to be that silly girl dancing with her eyes closed.  My coworker asked today if I was going by myself, and I said yes but of course.

At this point, in my life, I feel very jaded to asking people to go to shows with me, and really hate getting in the mode of “trying to find someone to go with.” I’d much rather just buy a ticket, accepting I will be going alone and might run into someone I know, yet doubtful.

I’ll send out an invite sometimes, but more so because I want to see that person vs. that person coming with me to a show. I just happen to be going to a show they might want to go to… does that make sense. My independence at this point is so a part of who I am; it doesn’t even occur to me to ask anyone to come with me anywhere. when I do ask someone to join me, or meet me at a free show, or I’m willing to pay for them to get into a show it is because I can’t be a lone do to very awkward situations I know I will be in based on the group of people that will be present. At the moment, am referring to a very specific band, that maybe I will write a blog post about titled “The Friend or Fan?” . This also applies to blind date/ stalking situations.
I love my sense of independence, and I promised myself to never have “going alone” hold me back from my own life story. But I wonder…. No I won’t criticize myself. I make friends where ever I go, if those friendships last past those moments, who knows? Yet I put myself out there; I be independent, but I’m never a lone.

*Future post about the judging people based on the music they listen too- it’s lame! (don’t do it)

May 4, 2012

Unplug to Connect! a rant…

I was interrupted during the first video, here is the rest.

March 1, 2012

Budget Friendly Tip! – Naked Juice

 A budget friendly tip from Bekka, me! One of the best and most expensive Juices on the market is Naked Juice. I work right next to a Whole Foods, so when I want a juice fix my budget friendly options are kind of low. At some point “prices per once” comes into play to really make sure I am getting the most bang for my buck. Yet I go one step further, once I am back to the office I also cutt my naked juice with water, usually half and half.

Naked Juice is very concentrated, and sometimes I find to be a little too sweet.  I love the less concentrated version with water mixed in, and it makes my Naked Juice last twice as long!

January 17, 2012

Best Face Forward

I have this second Aunt, my father’s Aunt. Aunt Alice, she is the most divine woman. I love/d my grandma, but she had nothing on Aunt Alice’s style. Always posh, she always wears s skirt suits (she made) that could give Miss Coco herself a run for her money.  I admire her style, and wish to posses that kind of elegance at her age (which is 91). Right now I wear jeans and hoodies etc, but after 80 it’s all about Aunt Alice class and Iris Apfel creativity.

Anyway one day I told Aunt Alice how I just thought she was the most posh woman I have ever met.  I love everything she wears, and wish to posses that same grace. She then told me that her mother told her once, that whether it is to the market or out to dinner always leave your house looking your best and putting her best foot forward.  With Aunt Alice’s mother in my head, I have noticed the world is different with your best face forward.

I might not always dress to the nines, but now whenever I leave the house I make sure my hair and makeup are “done” (I put done in quotations because I think a messy bun or wavy hair includes my hair being done). Mostly my makeup has to be done, foundation and blush since I have bad acne. And it maybe that I am more chipper with my face done up, less insecure so I don’t avoid eye contact.  But I’ve noticed when I go out and have makeup on, I get better customer service. The cashier giving me 15% off discount meant only for card holders, or my billion questions answered with a smile (this includes men and women), I receive better service.

At first I thought of calling this post “Privileges of the Pretty”. But I don’t think it’s about the fact I have makeup on or not I look prettier that is getting the positive results. It’s me leaving my house with my best face forward, following Aunt Alice’s advice and just putting the best of me out there. Not to say I HAVE TO HAVE makeup on at all time. There are plenty of quick errands I make with no makeup on, but if I want a little extra care, I put a little extra care into myself first.