Archive for January, 2012

January 30, 2012


Every year or Fall/Winter season I seem to be sick 85% of the damn time! Then Spring/Summer comes along and I have allergies. But mostly it really just sucks when I have the common cold. It’s not the flu, and flu shots don’t do anything because I never get a fever. It is the common cold and there is no cure; it kicks my ASS! I just feel tired and drained, and not to mention sick and tired of blowing my nose all the time. Really I can’t do much when I am sick because my brain is just constantly in a fog.

Today I was getting ready, shopping around town, getting ready for my birthday party next weekend. And I am in the longest line at Target to get floor cleaner and all of a sudden I’m extremely nauseous. Dropping the floor cleaner on an empty conveyor belt, I rushed out of the store so I could get sick at home. Was it my lunch that made me sick or pushing myself while fighting a stupid cold!

Currently I am doing a freelance project with my friend John, that I can’t even work on. I can’t even try and be creative enough to come up with my Five Fun Facts. My complete absence has been due to a cold. Sometime I don’t know what I hate most, the chapped lips and endless tissues boxes I go through or how the cold drains and sucks me dry of all inspired creativity and drive.



January 24, 2012

Bank of Bekka

From the time until I was about 16 I would never spend money. I would go to the mall with my girlfriends, walk around Forever 21 and see lots of things I wanted. But I could never bring myself to buying anything. Constantly I would be looking at a necklace or pair of earrings going to is so cute, my friends would be like “how much is it?”

“ Oh it’s $4, I’m not going to buy it…”

Nothing could sway my stingy pockets, I would never spend a dime. Now I have the hardest time not spending money. Last week I took myself to Beauty and the Beast 3D, my favorite Disney princess; smart, sassy, weird , and kind. I could not pass up the chance to watch this movie again in the theaters, so I spent $12 on a ticket, which isn’t where I went wrong on my spending.  It was the small soda and the nachos which cost $10 that put me back, followed by a tall can of PBR later that night at a bar for $6 + $1 tip.

What does my Friday night total? Thirty Dollars! That is a full tank of gas! That is 4 hours of drive time, in my road trip spent on a MOVIE NIGHT (by myself).  I need to go back to the ways of the Bank of Bekka, back to the days of when my family would come to me for a $40 dollar loan. I was like a damn ATM machine, should have charged interest.

January 17, 2012

Best Face Forward

I have this second Aunt, my father’s Aunt. Aunt Alice, she is the most divine woman. I love/d my grandma, but she had nothing on Aunt Alice’s style. Always posh, she always wears s skirt suits (she made) that could give Miss Coco herself a run for her money.  I admire her style, and wish to posses that kind of elegance at her age (which is 91). Right now I wear jeans and hoodies etc, but after 80 it’s all about Aunt Alice class and Iris Apfel creativity.

Anyway one day I told Aunt Alice how I just thought she was the most posh woman I have ever met.  I love everything she wears, and wish to posses that same grace. She then told me that her mother told her once, that whether it is to the market or out to dinner always leave your house looking your best and putting her best foot forward.  With Aunt Alice’s mother in my head, I have noticed the world is different with your best face forward.

I might not always dress to the nines, but now whenever I leave the house I make sure my hair and makeup are “done” (I put done in quotations because I think a messy bun or wavy hair includes my hair being done). Mostly my makeup has to be done, foundation and blush since I have bad acne. And it maybe that I am more chipper with my face done up, less insecure so I don’t avoid eye contact.  But I’ve noticed when I go out and have makeup on, I get better customer service. The cashier giving me 15% off discount meant only for card holders, or my billion questions answered with a smile (this includes men and women), I receive better service.

At first I thought of calling this post “Privileges of the Pretty”. But I don’t think it’s about the fact I have makeup on or not I look prettier that is getting the positive results. It’s me leaving my house with my best face forward, following Aunt Alice’s advice and just putting the best of me out there. Not to say I HAVE TO HAVE makeup on at all time. There are plenty of quick errands I make with no makeup on, but if I want a little extra care, I put a little extra care into myself first.

January 17, 2012

Five Fun Facts- III


1. I love a hot mountain man with a good beard. I’ll imagine our log cabin in the woods, with a roaring fire and spiked hot coco.

2.  This will be the first time I am going to Coachella. This is the first time I will ever camp in my car! (yup I scored tickets-thank you good friend with a a free standby window)

3. Was very late in the game on At The Drive-In, even later till I realized Mars Volta was an off shoot of At The Drive- In..i put on the hat of shame.

4.  My three favorite colors are mustard yellow, avocado green, and rusty orange.

5.  If there was a movie about me I would have Godard direct my love life, and have Baz Luhrmann direct my whole life.


January 10, 2012

Can’t Say No – Coachella 2012

The Coachella line up was bestowed upon the people yesterday and oh how the internet has been ablaze with buzz. There are reuniting groups, coming back from the dead ie: Refused and At The Drive- In, music legends or icons since they are not that old yet ie: Radiohead and Dr. Dre, and my favorite Mazzy Star. Every time Fade Into You came on the radio, my 6 year old self would fade into the song. Dreaming of love song dedications and great romances, no wonder I’m such a hopeless romantic.

I’ve never been one to actually want to go to Coachella. It’s a music festival with 50,000 people in the blaring hot sun in the middle of the desert, most of those people smelly, and cost a hell-of-a-lot of money. Really, for as much of a music fan I am, I have never really had the desire to go to Coachella because the lineup was never compelling enough to inspire me to buy a ticket. And the bands I did want to see I could usually catch over the course of the year at much smaller venues. The last line up that I actually wanted/ considered to go to was in 2008 when Rodger Waters was playing. And in all honesty, I remember the lineup was desirable, but I think I wanted to go more because my best friend was going.

This year I saw the lineup and immediately had to go. The bands I want to see will be listed after the jump, but the three days all call to a different side of my sense; from the 90’s kid, to indie love, hippie-free spirit, and don’t mess with me gangster, I’m covered. First, I have to see if I even get tickets, fingers crossed. But I’ll be camping on the grounds in my car, with friends here and there but no one to go with. I actually feel this is a “practice” run-through of my road trip. Sleeping in my car, surrounded by strangers, forced to make friends and be left to my own devices (sort of). It will give me a taste of 2013.

*note to self- make friends with cute boys to give back massage for kinks in muscles from sleeping in hatch-back car.

January 10, 2012

Dont Hate on Good Gatorade

I wrote this earlier this evening on my Facebook after seeing some hater poster about coachella, example can be seen after the jump.

I’ve seen a few of the hater coachella posters and they’re really lame. I mean I’ve never been a big fan of the fest because the line ups were always eeehh for the price, so I could see the hater poster laster year or the year before. But this year when epic bands are getting back together, mazzy star (never ever thought i would ever see live), and the three headliners are flippn legit come on its Dr. Dre and Radiohead…it covers the hippie and the gangster in me. I see this year as the most none deserved hated year, for hater poster to be posted…so yes stereotypes go to coachella for the idea of coachella but this year it can be said (i feel) is about the music. 🙂 ♥ bekka’s rant

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January 9, 2012

Five Fun Facts- II

1. I’m allergic to meat. I do not produce enough of the ensyme that breaks down the protein properly. I sometimes wish I have the PETA conviction to not want to eat meat, but I don’t…which can get me into trouble. Sorry tummy!

2. My new years resolution was to give up meat, except on special occasions and if it cost more that $30.00. Try justifying eating a $30.00 piece of meat, not easy.

3.  I dream of living in a house up in the hills of Silver Lake that is super sixties. I have the living room and stair case designed in my head. There will be tears the day I see my dream house.

4. Hopeless romantic doesn’t even cut it when it comes to describing my bleeding heart for love. Although I have sworn off men/ dating for 2012/13. A girl needs a break from the drama.

5. I’ve never fallen in love; close but no cigar. Never date an artist.

January 8, 2012

Lesson from the Little Mermaid: Never Forbid Your Kid…

*best video i could find of the yelling scene

Parents learn from the Little Mermaid and never forbid your child from ever doing something, especially seeing a person.  Suggestion, opinion, and manipulation are the best forms of encouraging your child to stay away from something you disapprove, but never ever forbid them. If you forbid them bad things happen, we all know what happened to Ariel.

Tonight on my way home from the art gallery I was listening to love songs on the coast and this guy name Ricky dedicated a song to Gina; his girlfriend who’s parents have forbid him from seeing each other and he wanted to send out that love song dedication to say that he will prove his love and wait for her. Forbidding people, i.e.: teens, from seeing each other leads to idiotic decisions and irrational thoughts and expectations. Now that these parents threw up this roadblock in their relationship, they are now forced to “prove” their love and are more determined to stay together. Instead of just letting the young love burn out fast and fizzle like all young love does, because if the parents are trying to prevent them from having sex. Sorry parents but the truth is they probably have, or most definitely will now.

Learn from Triton from Little Mermaid, he forbid his daughter Ariel from going to the surface so you know what she goes and does instead; SELLS HER DAMN VOICE FOR LEGS!! You know if he would have just let her break the water every once in awhile she would have eventually grown bored or distracted by something else, but nope he forbid it so she decided to take matters into her own hands and made an irrational REBELLIOUS decision.

Don’t be stupid parents. Distract your child by sending them on vacation in another state with their aunt or take them on day trips places or something, anything; hell better yet bring the guy into your home APPROVE him, love him, and then she will really eventually stop liking him. But the kiss of death is forbidding him. We are not in the situation we are all in now because god gave the apple to Eve, no it was forbidden, the damn forbidden fruit. One cannot say no to what is forbidden, if the apple was highly un-recommended it would have probably been left untouched but no it was forbidden. Never forbid anything unless you want a really bad decision to be made, leading the entire world into original sin and a mute mermaid with legs inspiring an underwater apocalypse with a 100 foot octopus woman.

January 7, 2012

Sick As A Dog … shit

Currently I am sick with a cold.  A loopy sick, or I guess I just get loopy when I have a cold. The whole world vibrates and I see the energy of objects radiating. Yes, I know it sounds like I might be on some psychedelic trip but the most hard core thing I’ve had to drink all night is some Thera-flu. Which I will tell you hits me quicker than a shot of whiskey and at time for the shear idea of it, have debated walking into a bar with a traveler cup filled with Theraflu.

Also I’ve gained 10 pounds over the holidays and am a little backed up if you get my drift. So on top of a cold, I really don’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I’m the first to be anti-diet anything but I do feel it is important to feel comfortable in your own skin, and love the way your clothes look on you. At the moment, I do have some room for improvement. And not that I’ll go on some major diet or exercise till the cows come home, I will eliminate meat from my diet for its toxic presence in my system (I’m allergic) and exercise to increase energy. If I could find a Krav Maga class, that would be optimal. Safety and sexy body, holler. (Ok that’s trying a bit too hard).

Well this loopy mind is ready to zone out to some Netflix instant, so visit and tell them I said hello. 2012 goal, get writing on Hello Giggles, maybe the more I write it the close to be try it shall be.

photo found here

January 6, 2012

Cigarettes and Lollipops

All smokers began smoking because they thought someone else who was smoking was cool, plain and simple. It’s not necessarily a matter of peer pressure it’s a matter of cool pressure, and I have been feeling the pressure. Ever since I stopped taking my meds, all the little voices in my head that have been on vacation are back telling me to pick up the cigarette smoking habit. With my cute pink case and with my all my favorite films having leads that smoke, it’s been hard to say no. Damn it I do feel cool kids smoke cigarettes, well at least till their early 30’s for women, late 30’s to mid 40s for men. I am envious of the stylish pretty girl with a delicate cigarette held between two fingers.

Once upon a time in my teen years to early 20’s I was a serious smoker. I bought packs, coffee and cigarettes were a daily ritual and damn it I felt cool. I was rebellious, artsy, different, a smoker. But then I went on Welbutrin and all the cravings went away, I smoked here and there but nothing ever serious. Years later I’m not psychically addicted to cigarettes, I am just in love with the idea I have of people who do smoke. Well at least the pretty people, ugly trashy people do not count. But those who possess an exotic film noir quality about them, their club I want to join.

So I bought a pack, had a few puffs over the course of a few days and damn it I can’t commit. Maybe when young and stupid your body is more open to being damaged. But mid twenties my lungs are saying “are you fucking kidding me” and immune system replies “we’re shutting down I feel poison, do I smell arsenic?” and big brain goes “yeah this doesn’t seem like a good idea”. After a valiant effort I’ve decided to not pick up smoking again. Well I did not really decided more like my body was saying fuck you and there is way too much shit you need to do without feeling this awful; veto.

But what will make me cool? What can I offer and be my ticket to the cool kids’ lunch table. Mini lollipops maybe? Yes I’ve decided to carry dum dums with me and whenever friends go outside for their cigarette, I’ll join by eating my dum dum. In my humble opinion I think it’s brilliant.