Archive for April, 2012

April 19, 2012

Going to Coachella- ella-ella- ay!

Tomorrow I will be headed out on my first adventure to Coachella. I am very excited about this, bags are packed, few odds and ends left to deal with. And already my “plans” are changing and going out the window. But thats Coachella and you just roll with the punches. Just get everything checked off your list, and you will be on your way between 11 and 1, arriving latest by 3 or 4, sun still high- tent/car ready to be set up. My restriction from all social media will commence once in Indio, and I hope to stick with that dedicated goal. Full diary like updates when I get back, pictures included. I even think I will do a “haul” video of shiz I packed. As I don’t shop that much to ever do a haul video of stuff I have bought. Maybe I should start doing haul videos of just stuff I come across, that would be interesting (lets work that out). Anyways so my adventure to Coachella begins tomorrow, and I am ready to just LET GO, open myself up to possibilities and absorb positivity.

*This camping experience, well my whole independent sleeping conditions and making friend attitude is a dry run for my road trip. Truely let the adventure begin!

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April 18, 2012

I LIKE YOU! *updated 5/5/12

One of my favorite movies is Elizabethtown. I can’t really describe why I love it so much, except that it gives me a feeling of home and I really relate to Claire. There is a part in the film where Claire goes and says, “I LIKE YOU” to Drew. Her exclamation is the same feeling I get when I meet someone I like, I just want to yell “I LIKE YOU!”. And even after I stop talking to that person but still think they are awesome, I want to say I LIKE YOU!

But I don’t say I LIKE YOU, because I need to be wanted and with someone who wants to be with me. I need the second scene in the movie, actually I need the last scene in the movie. Actually I need a whole other romantic movie scene because Claire totally drives the relationship in Elizabethtown, which I tend to do, and it ALWAYS ends up bad (in my life story).

Looking for my own love story, it will happen someday….

(5/5/12: correction the I Like You scene happened before this scene (YouTube Video Below). Update: I did tell the guy who inspired this post that I liked him. I actually just said (texted) “I Like You” while watching Mazzy Star at Coachella. A few days later I elaborated and really gave it to him, telling him how fantastic I think he is. Still with no expectation anything will ever come of it, and still with the need to be wanted and pursued, but I thought he should know how amazing I think he is.)

April 12, 2012

I adore her

I’d like to say I think we all are always figuring it out, I never think I have it figured out, but I’m happy the youths (young women) of today have a cool chick like her to look up too and have an awesome site to go to for advice. Cause teen magazine(s) sucks, especially for the alternative teen.

April 5, 2012

Tom is Stupid & Summer is a Bitch

Last night I watched 500 Days of Summer, one of my favorite movies that I had not watched in a while. Cinematically it is still one of my favs, stylistically one of my favs, but I looked at the story in a whole new light and I have to say; Tom you are absolutely retarded and Summer you’re a fucking bitch!
When I first saw this movie (500 Days of Summer) I thought the world of Tom, and empathized with Summer. Now in lieu of being strung along by a guy, letting someone else mean more to me than my own self-worth and wellbeing, and having my own heart completely disregarded with no care in the world. I would like to say I deserved every painful, long drawn out crying fit or torturous painful *anorexic induced stress and stomach retching ach because I “loved” him or thought “he was the one”. And I decided yes we will be friends and someday he will love me, etc. Until one day I woke up like Tom drawing on his wall and decided enough of this, I’m moving on.

But just as N.D, knew I was in love with him, and should have let this poor struggling fish off the damn line and not say “let’s be friends”. Summer should have said “Hi Tom, sorry I’m just not in love with you and don’t think I ever will be lets go our separate ways”. Don’t dance with him; don’t give him morsels of hope to be choked on later by an engagement ring!!

I’m not that great at dating, as I have “value” issues to deal with. You know saying “I’m better than this” or “I deserve to be pursued” lots of lingo like that. I can get clingy or want to move to fast out of a deep knowing that “hell he doesn’t want a relationship with me anyways so what the hell”. But I’m changing and growing. A part of that is to NOT BE A FRIEND, with someone you really like or was in a relationship with because it only leads to you being emotionally abused and mind fucked.

In conclusion, Tom I hoped you learned your lesson and Summer I’m glad you got married cause you should no longer talk to your ex’s, that is just bad form!

*I was not anorexic. But my calorie count was around 500 at some point cause I just couldn’t eat and I drank a lot of high-calorie sodas/juices to keep blood sugar up– I was a mess.

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April 1, 2012

One Bite At A Time!

On the coat tails of my last post, as I have not been posting as often as I would wish, this week the phrase or riddle “How do you eat an elephant?” kept ringing in my ears. True some see this idea as gross and disturbing, but you eat an elephant one bite at a time. And in my world it’s an actual elephant sized and shaped gummy candy/mold, so how would I eat that? One bite at a time!

Between work, the book, MAOI (which sadly is my rejected child that at this point blog protective services should just take away from me), curating, and a minimal but active social life; yes certain priorities get forgotten or put to the waste side. And a part of that I believe is because I do get too overwhelmed by EVERYTHING I need to do, that instead of just taking a few bites out of these tasks every day, I try and gobble up as much of one thing at a time (which usually leads to a stomach ache and avoidance- Still with me on the metaphor?). Focusing on one task and feeling burned out the rest of week.

I’ve decided to start going to library after work in order to better and more effectively use my time, instead of sitting in an hour and a half of traffic. I will write or blog or research at the library, which thankfully is in walking distance of my office building. I’m just taking one little gummy bite at a time, and eventually that elephant gummy will be gone!

p.s. The Coachella photography show is actually coming together! I’m excited.

*Future Topics:

-My deep rooted irrational fear of relationships vs. me

– Sunday Funday Crafting Club

-Joining the Grilled Cheese Competition